Seb's iOS

coaching leadership Jan 10, 2023
Seb's IOS

Here’s a look into my personal iOS. You can find more about the powerful thought exercise here.

Vision/Purpose/North Star: Create spaces for full self-expression and play #Recess 


Mission: Performance Optimization for the Top 1% - support leaders and teams move through the mess by connecting to their essential greatness.


  • Authenticity

  • Passion

  • Catalyst

  • Joy

  • Love


Identities I hold: 

  • Athlete

  • Leader

  • Artist/Creator

  • Human


Roles I hold: 

  • Leader

  • Coach

  • Facilitator

  • Consultant

  • Son/grandson

  • Brother

  • Teammate


Powerful Contexts/Perspectives/Lens to see the world

  • Presidential - excellence always and everywhere

  • Jack Sparrow - go f*** s*** up lol

  • Surrender - let it be 

  • Mad scientist - everything is an experiment


  • EXCELLENCE-High water raises all boats. We promise to cultivate an environment that calls forth the best of every person and opportunity and raises the collective standard. 

  • AUTHENTICITY-We create spaces for full self-expression, real conversation, and vulnerable realizations in service of empowering choice.  

  • INTEGRITY-We believe that the best results come when our intentions, speaking, and actions are in alignment. 

  • RELATIONSHIPS-We are committed to deeply understanding our clients and helping them achieve what is most important to them

  • FUN-We believe that our greatest wins happen as a consequence of levity and play. 

  • IMPACT-In redefining what is possible, we support our clients in making a significant and lasting difference in their teams, organizations, and communities. 


Questions to ask often: 

  • What is leadership to me? 

  • What is coaching to me? 

  • What is a team to me? 

  • What is success to me? 



  • Be excellence all the time, no matter what

  • Trust what I see and never step over what I see. Especially if it’s uncomfortable. 


Survival Mechanism - my default or automatic operating system: 

  • Stoic Superman - hero complex, “its my job to fix”

  • Idealistic fraud - I see gaps everywhere. It shows up as what should be/could be. This is the intense level of excellence. Misalignment or misperception of character creates major stress (#fraud)

  • Unproductive Workaholic - use work as an out/to numb


Decision making orientations: 

  • Is this an 8, 9, or 10? Anything less, it’s a hard no. 

  • Am I called to this? Am I called for this? 

  • What does your gut say? What has you trusting/not trusting it? 

  • Glad I did or didn’t? 

Why I say Yes: 

  • Do I want to? Or am I trying to please/fulfill others? 

  • Time - do I have the time? 

  • Fun 

Business Conditions of Success

photo shot at Aro Ha

Principles - personal preset rules or ways of being 

  1. Love first

  2. Lead always: Be the owner

  3. Show up

  4. Show out - Ball hard

  5. Life’s too short. Do it now.

  6. Practice Integration. Let your front match your back. 

  7. Jump for joy

  8. Point and run: Express gratitude

  9. Be you

  10. Get messy

  11. Ensure safety, encourage Discomfort

  12. Be Unreasonable

  13. Embrace Stillness + Silence

  14. Do it big: live in possibility

  15. Honor experiences

  16. Hold space. Be compassion. 

  17. Go one step further

  18. Trust the arc of the long game

  19. Make Waves - Be bold

  20. Operate in the Poles

  21. Own the Different

  22. If it scares you, do it now

  23. Finish what you start 

  24. Be direct. Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind. 

  25. Be unattached. 

  26. Be ungettable.

  27. Keep it simple. Everyone can do complex. 

  28. Chop wood, carry water 


Business Principles

  1. Yesterday’s price is not today’s price 

  2. The difference between good and great is consistency. 

  3. Bring value 

  4. Play the long game

  5. Relationships Over Everything

  6. Yesterday’s price is not today’s price. And your last price becomes your new price - Drake + Thug

  7. You are always serving/coaching. Even though people aren’t yet your clients. 


Coaching principles: 

  1. Slow down

  2. Lean back 

  3. Bounce

  4. BOLD - Say the thing that will get you fired 


Strengths Inventory: Why would I be enrolled in me?

Things I have in any room. They are malleable and can be deployed across any situation and context. My fundamentals. 

  • Standard of excellence -: the FLOOR is excellence and professionalism, I am exceptional at what I put my mind too

  • Power of Polarities - I see possibility everywhere. I can also empathetically connect to different perspective. I can see 360, especially when prompted. 

  • Seeing the strengths, greatness, and latent talent in others - it’s maximizer + significance, it’s also idealistic fraud 

  • Emotional forecasting - human reactions at any scale make sense

  • Soar - I see the best in people, and I see potential 

    • Allow people to dream bigger. Represent possibility

  • Team-orientation: I automatically come from team/in service of someone else. No need to filter. Teams just makes sense. 

    • Elevation: I raise all boats and make any space better

    • High integrity and responsibility 

  • Effective: I get shit done. Mission focused and able to move groups forward. 

  • Arranger: I see and can optimize Systems thinking

    • Understanding organizational contexts 

  • Humor + Joy: I can jump from humor to work in a second. It’s like walking over the line. 

  • I redesign the system to solve multiple problems simultaneously. I evolve organizational systems until they produce envisioned results. I see the integration between all parts of the system.

  • Grounded leadership - it’s leadership connected to my power. It allows me to slow down and speak from what feels like near fact. 



  1. Arranger

  2. Responsibility

  3. Significance

  4. Communication

  5. Activator

  6. Maximizer

  7. Strategic

  8. Relator

  9. Self-Assurance

  10. Individualization


Things that piss me off:

  • When mom stacks the list and doesn’t tell me everything at once

  • Not explaining the why or vision. I like to operate with a creative space. 

  • Too long winded 

  • Using an anxious/stress-inducing tone for something little 

  • People that don’t own their greatness

  • Playing victim


Definitions that Matter: 

Leadership is/a leader is…

  • To create what doesn’t yet exist or make better what does - Rodney Mueller 

  • A leader is anyone at any level who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential - Brene Brown


Masculinity/to be a man…

  • Strength and Love; Power and light 

  • Lives in alignment with values and vision 

  • Someone who is able to identify their needs and get them met


If we were strangers, what would your care instructions say? 

  • Make fantasy and marvel references often 

  • Treat with humor. It aint that serious. 

  • Push a bit, but he’s got the rest. 

  • Communicate transparently. Roundabout takes too long and he aint got time for that… or you in that case. 


What I spend money on: 

  • Health - insurance, fitness classes

  • Self Development - courses, masterminds, degrees, further education, etc. 

  • Core Technology - the stuff I use everyday

  • Experiences - live baby! YOLO (kinda tho)

  • Speed/Buying back time - will it make me/my business faster? Does it cut down travel time? 


Drivers - What moves me? 

  • RAPPORT - connecting with others and building comfortable relationships 

  • COMMERCIAL (MISSION) FOCUS  - maximizing organizational profitability; driving business success

  • LEGACY - accomplishing something that lasts and is honored; having a long-term impact
COURAGE - asserting and defending one's position; saying what needs to be said 

  • HONESTY - telling the truth; maintaining one's own personal integrity and truthfulness


Notice these patterns/things to watch out for:

  • Overworking

  • Scarcity mindset

    • “I need to…”

    • “I should”

    • Automatic yes without checking in on values or vision

  • Can’t hear acknowledgement

  • Superman - stoic and unable to be with heart

  • Too many people - spending too much time tending to others needs and trading silence/time with self


Weekly challenges


  • love yourself excessively. Live unreasonably this week. 

  • Fail everyday. 

  • Lead with as few words as possible. 

  • Slow down enough to hear silence.

  • Listen for and count everything you hear

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